Welcome to twattering the home of banal, self-pitying or generally crap status updates and tweets that you feel the need to expose.
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MazSome twat Boyesis looking forward to seeing her yummy man in 2 and a half hours for a sneeky smooch in his car for an hour!!!!
(generally crap)- Maz's reason - because her boyfriend's replies are even more annoying!! I enjoyed it babe i love seeing you we get on so well i hope every thing is ok you no where i am if you need me baby thanks for me ice cream and kisses was nice very nice im going to hit the weights now baby love you trillions x X X
- acqu13sce - I think I might be sick
- DickyDabin - If someone is going to have that sort of disgusting sickening puppydog shit style relationship i;d prefer it if they were doing it out of my view!
- Sav - OH JESUS FUCKING CUNTFUCK what a sickening read that was. I nearly uncontrollably excremented from mouth and anus it was that disgusting a read. I am hoping they both lose their lives in a freak mr whippy accident.
- SmugBastard - I felt nauseous until I read "i'm going to hit the weights" and then I actually started to gag. And "love you trillions"? WHAT?
- DefectedPurpose - That made me projectile onto the poor fucker in front of me. This sickening toad of a person should be taken outside and shot in the cunt. Then the head.
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DickyDabinSome twat is lookin 4ward 2 her spray tan then watchin confessions of a shopoholic with her gorgeous bf later.
(banal)- DickyDabin's reason - I pity the poor fuck.
- DickyDabin - I cant even handle it any more, not only is everything about you sprayed on like fucking paint, but when you trying to be in any way cultural, you totally fuck it up by watching a film about SHOPPING!!
- acqu13sce - These type of people are the precise reason this country is fucked up, these vacuous consumers of the latest fucking fad to be advertised in HEAT magazine. Sprayed outer shells of absolute nothingness, they need to be bred out of the gene pool
- Suman - Sometimes I wish Germany won the war.
- Bbags - Suman, you have made me spit again. Good work old man.
- FILMTHEBLANKS - Shopahol abuse is a serious matter. Hollywood should think carefully when they make so-called 'comedy' movies about serious matters like an addiction to shopahol. And twats should think more carefully about using stupid nonsensical compound words like fucking 'shopaholic' let alone watching a shitfest movie about it while painted terracotta with their balloon head bastard boyfriend
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AliceSome twat had a great Birthday & Valentines (love the roses,chocs & champange I got this morn -x- ) got so spoilt & my competition on Sat for Miss England went great! :-).
(ego worshipping)- Alice's reason - ARGH! I have waited three days to register on to this site so that I could rip the shit out of this man-faced pagent moron's status. Here it is. And the rest of her status updates, by the looks of things, could keep this site going on their own. More to come from Pagent Queen, but for now, Alex, you are a massive TWAT. (and you are ugly by the way, taking your clothes off on your facebook pics doe
- Alice - Hey, why can't I write any more than a few lines!? I was getting into that! Dabin, sort it out.
- DickyDabin - Normally people manage to get their abuse out in a couple of well chosen swearwords, but i like that you went into great detail in your hatred.
- DickyDabin - As for this stuck up slag, i do hope shes enjoying her time in the sun, because i predict that she wont be looking so good in 2 years time when shes a crack riddled sperm whore who doesnt understand why everyone hates her now her face looks like the arsehole of harold steptoe.
- tbms - that update is hilarious on it's own. i just love the "oh by the way..." tone of the miss england bit. i hope she wins, the updates will be like essays
- Bbags - I cant actually believe this is real. She will be crowned Queen Cunt in my pageant of fucking insufferable smug aresholes.
- Psy - Reads: My boyfriend is fucking someone else and trying to satiate his guilt by showering me with cliche. Oh, and I only had to suck off four 70 year olf cocks to get to the next round of the Barnsley's roundest arse competition!
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GrumpyTwatSome twat new edinburgh show: "Land Without Words" by Dea Loher, opens 2mro. 12:20 - 1:10 at justthetonic@ The Caves (cowgate). so this is it then. meep.
(banal)- SmugBastard - Wtf? JUST FUCK OFF
- DefectedPurpose - Tosser.
- FILMTHEBLANKS - Meep? Fucking meep? Who is it? Beaker from the Muppets?
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SavSome twat is hoping that he is still alive this time tomorrow
(self pitying)- Sav's reason - Newsflash cockface, my good friend humanity and I are indeed hoping you are 100% officially dead when Tuesday comes. Fuck it I hope you die now you massive twatfag
- bob - that makes one of us, twat
- DickyDabin - So somone who is considering the possibility is spending their last few moments pissing around on facebook? I hope you spent the rest of eternity kicking yourself in the face for wasting your entire life!
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vanya anindyaSome twat aku punya Twattering yeee!!!
(banal)- vanya anindya - senang nya hihi
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nyeSome twat iz bored
(banal)- FILMTHEBLANKS - I can tell, you started snoring as you typed 'is'
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nyeSome twat little man fast a sleep wiish a could grrrr lol
(self pitying)- drexl73 - WHY "LOL"? WHY THE FUCK IS THAT FUNNY?? You TWAT.
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fblovernotafighterSome twat just tried to re-heat tuna pasta bake in the fridge and got pissed off when it was still cold doh
(banal)- fblovernotafighter's reason - What. The. Fuck. Why am I 'friends' with these people???
- bitterandtwisted - I'd like to shut your fucking face in the fridge. I hope this person is infertile because they clearly don't deserve to procreate.
- fblovernotafighter - he's gay sooooo....
- SmugBastard - WHY DO I HAVE TO SHARE A PLANET WITH THESE DICKBRAINS?
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RufusLovesMeSome twat went home alone yet again tonite as usual. Really needs a girlfriend!!
(self pitying)- RufusLovesMe's reason - Another desperate plea for attention from the twat below.
- PistolPete - Cunt
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SmugBastardSome twat is sad that she had to miss bookclub last night.
(ego worshipping)- SmugBastard's reason - Oh well get you Miss Intellectual...
- RufusLovesMe - ...not that intellectual seeing as she spelt 'bookclub' as one word.
- DefectedPurpose - Richard & Judy have a lot to answer for.
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DaniSome twat Lovely weather for walking on the beach, hurry up and get to 4pm!
(generally crap)- Dani's reason - I just don't like people who live near the beach, it irritates me, hugely!!!
- BrickVader - Go walk on the beach, walk out to sea and keep walking, preferably in concrete boots. at night, alone, where your last gurgles of life are so far away from humanity that it will not bother it.
- Portillo - I hope there's a four minute warning at 3.56.