Welcome to twattering the home of banal, self-pitying or generally crap status updates and tweets that you feel the need to expose.

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  • Dongle
    Dongle
    Some twat We're going to the zoo zoo zoo....
    (banal)
    • Dongle's reason - Because I've got that STUPID song going through my head now. How about you? !!!!!!!!
  • alex1970
    alex1970
    Some twat loving this weather
    (banal)
    • alex1970's reason - smug git
  • alex1970
    alex1970
    Some twat is thinking why do women send pictures of their fat arse to other peoples boyfriend! Oh yeah I know why
    (generally crap)
  • SmugBastard
    SmugBastard
    Some twat Tuesday chillin': no gym but dinner, movie, love, relax :)
    (ego worshipping)
    • SmugBastard's reason - Oh well isn't your life so fucking perfect!
  • SmugBastard
    SmugBastard
    Some twat in the process of moving office... damn so much paper!! I wish I could tidy up in a second
    (banal)
  • Crystal Tips
    Crystal Tips
    Some twat ow...poorley sick....headache....ow
    (ego worshipping)
    • Crystal Tips's reason - Oh god, you write this EVERY SINGLE WEEK! So Wow, you can drink alcohol - so what? That doesn't make you admirable, it merely makes you a massive twat! And as a side note, why not spend a little less on vodka, and a bit more on dictionaries? Then you might look marginally less of a twat when you post your weekly cries for attention.
    • SmugBastard - I hope that repeated "ow" is because someone keeps bashing you on the head.
  • tbms
    tbms
    Some twat Is wishing my son a very happy 6th birthday. Love you lots little man xxx
    (ego worshipping)
    • tbms's reason - seriously? what's the fucking point?
    • SmugBastard - Ahhhh, innit cuuuuuuuuute. No. It's fucking pointless. Shut up. I hope your kid has an epileptic fit.
    • Sav - cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt
  • tbms
    tbms
    Some twat feels confused
    (self pitying)
    • tbms's reason - seriously annoying the girl is. not even good twatter material really, just shite! this seems to be the general theme of all her updates, what a twatting twat
    • SmugBastard - Post a really confusing comment in response.
  • Chiki
    Chiki
    Some twat I'm not xbox, I don't get played!!!!!!!!
    (generally crap)
    • Chiki's reason - Hahahaha oh god what a twat.
    • SmugBastard - This has to be one of the most unfunny comments ever written.
    • FILMTHEBLANKS - Shame. One more exclamation mark and it would have been hilarious. It's a fine line between genius and shit.
  • Alice
    Alice
    Some twat next person who says I look like its summer or asks if I'm cold jus coz am wearing sleeveless dress is gona get a punch in the eye! I hav on thick black stockings,only my arms r exposed
    (banal)
    • Alice's reason - That's coz you're dressed like a filthy whore you twat
  • nye
    nye
    Some twat is going in the bath
    (banal)
    • nye's reason - wey who wants 2 know that eh? not exactaly ground breaking is it
    • drexl73 - Don't get out. Ever.
    • SmugBastard - You mean "getting into the bath". Going in the bath is what incontinent people do. Oh wait...
  • nye
    nye
    Some twat Has just woke up :)
    (banal)
    • tbms - wish you hadn't
    • drexl73 - WELL DONE YOU. And it's "woken", you massive bell.
    • FILMTHEBLANKS - What do you want a fucking parade?